We Still Ask For More (Of Course! duh!)

The Life that I'm longing for.
Posted by ™NJay on Jan 2, '08 3:22 PM for everyone
The life that I'm longing for is to be in school, studying the course that I really want. I don't want to work at the moment. I do have dreams that I'm in a class, raising my hand to recite to our professor, in the library reading books, researching for some reports. I need to be in school at this time. To have financial freedom to just support my own education, I don't want to be working and at the same time studying. I'll hate it. I can'y. My body wouldn't allow to happen it.However, some people said, if you do have dreams and if you do really have goals in life, you'll do the same thing, you'll work while studying just to pursue those dreams. Yes, I mean, I do have dreams, and they are all dreams that'll come true.
I need to be in school. I want a job, yes i do have it now, but for this time, I'm not happy. Yes it'll give you the money that you need every payday, but still I can't find happiness from it. My happiness is to be in school, studying, walking in the campus with my classmates, having books on my arms... and everyhting that every student does. I just want and need to enjoy my college life, time passes by and yet im here, stucked in the life that I hate. Well, I dont mean that I do really hate this life, In fact I'm still thankful for this life, I have so many things also that I should be htankful for, and I do really thank the Lord for those, however, it's not complete. I am suppose to be happy. It is my right to be happy, my right to be in school. Yah, I am thankful that I do have this job, but yet, this doesn't give what I wanted, what I need. I'm 18 years, supposed to be in my 4th year college, and yet, I'm still a 1st year college, and now I working instead of studying. Fate wouldn't alllow me? duh! It's unfair! I lost my dad too early, and now I'm still enduring all the consequences of having an incomplete resource, yes, I do undesrtand that my mom really can't able to provide the financial support for the five of us, that's why I'm here working as a call center agent. However, god! it's been three years! and yet, we're still in this situation, yeah! there's a lot of improvements in life, but still, it isn't enough.
Yeah, I do understand that humans doesn't have satisfaction in life, but the only thing for me to be satisfied is to get out of this situation, have me go back to school, give me a financial freedom to send me to school and for me to be able to have a college degree, and that's it! I'm done, I can take the rest!
But, I do know that, this blog would not give the things that I long for, I just want the world to know that I'm really sick of my situation. I know God will really feel bad about what I'm doing and thinking right now, but i do know htat He really undesratnds what I feel. He's been good to us all the time.
Well, I just hope that in the NEAR future, there'll be huge improvements in our lives so that I can able to have the life that I'm longing for.
I long for myself to go back to school. Go back to my university, study the course that I really want. Be the person that wanna be. Have the job that I supposed to have.
Anyways! thank God for all the blessing that you've given for everyday. We give back the praises back to you. We lift your name on high. Thanks! and I'm sorry if i've been to demanding for this life.


NJay